The Problem with Eggnog
by WickedWitch1313
Summary: Minerva never did enjoy going to dances but little did she know that this one would prove to be one she'd remember for the rest of her life.
1. How to Dread an Upcoming Event

_A/N: Another HP fanfic! Ahhh! This one however I find to be fairly humorous. I thought I'd bring out the good 'ole personalities of the Minerva and Severus we know and love. This story takes place during the Yule Ball in the fourth book. Enjoy!_

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Minerva McGonagall sighed, absent- mindedly straightening a pile of parchment on her desk. She was not looking forward to the upcoming ball. All the reckless dancing and unruly behavior filling their halls; the thought of all the idiocy made her cringe. If there was anything Minerva couldn't stand, it was stupidity. Stupidity paired with a lack of self-control. The Yule Ball would most definitely bring out those very traits in the people attending it. And even though she'd been the one to say it, Minerva had no intention whatsoever of 'letting her hair down.' She knew well enough what that extra glass of eggnog could do to a person's judgment and she was not interested in a tipsy night of foolish giggling and folly.

Minerva cast one last look in the mirror. How she hated functions. All the dressing up and attempting to look happy… It was all just one large parade of people pretending to be having a good time. Sighing, she turned, checking to see if her jet-black bun was tight and neat before shoving her hat onto her head. She shifted from one foot to the other. Hopefully this attire would suffice for the night. Plastering on a smile, Minerva McGonagall straightened her dress robes one last time before heading out into the hall.

As she walked the length of the hall heading to the Great Hall, Minerva spotted none other than Severus Snape, heading down the adjacent hallway.

"Severus," she said, nodding her head curtly. His head shot up in response to her call.

"Minerva," he replied, "Headed up to the Great Hall as well?"

"Yes. I had hoped to get there early as not to be stampeded by rampaging students."

Severus' lip quirked slightly as the image flittered through his head, "We wouldn't want that now would we? Though if you _had_ been run over by students, I suppose you wouldn't be forced to endure the ball. Surely that holds measure for some people."

"Some people? I should think no one would want to parade around dressed up, dancing to the music these kids enjoy. I don't know who thought up the idea of parties but I'd like to give them a good talking to." Minerva said, aware, in the back of her mind that she was rambling on about rather nonsensical things.

"Minerva McGonagall, not enjoying functions? What a revelation!" he said, sarcasm nearly dripping in his voice.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Severus." She replied, turning away and resuming her walk towards the Great Hall.

Unfortunately, he kept pace with her. "Well, for one, you don't enjoy company. You never merit raucous behavior and you don't adhere to participating in acts that affect one's judgment."

Minerva stopped in her tracks. Was she really that transparent? Fixing on a scowl, she glared at Snape, "I enjoy the company of people as much as the next person if I am not busy, and I happen to think people shouldn't lose control simply because then they do things they wouldn't normally do." She blushed slightly, mentally thanking the dim torch light in the hall.

"If you enjoy company so much, why is it you always manage to turn me away from your office within ten minutes of getting there?" Severus asked and a playful smile broke out on his face.

"Excuse me?" she choked out, her brow furrowing.

"Come now, Minerva, you must recall how many times you have turned me out when I came to call." The smile on his face was now very prominent as he slowly walked towards her, stopping only once he had her practically pinned against the wall.

"Severus," she said, her voice almost at a whisper now. "Severus, I don't know what you're playing at but… but we need to get to the Great Hall…Now." Her voice grew until she pushed him back away from her and continued on her way.

"Don't you ever get tired of pushing people away, Minerva? Do you get tired of your solitude?" he called to her, just as she was turning the corner.

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_A/N 2: I hope you liked it! I know Snape is a bit OOC in this but I can't imagine him being super scowly all of the time. Besides, flirting with Minerva irritates her and his favorite thing IS to irritate her._


	2. How to Loosen Up At a Christmas Party

_A/N: Short Short Short. We're now at the dance and Minerva gave into a bit of temptation and DID drink the eggnog. tsk tsk tsk..._

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"Care to dance?" Ludo Bagman asked, bowing slightly.

Minerva glanced at Severus remembering his last words. "I would love to," she said, setting down her now empty glass of eggnog and took his offered hand.

They whirled around the dance floor, seeing only a blur of colors. Ludo swung her out, twirling her around for a moment before catching her again and spinning around once more.

With all the movement, Minerva could feel her bun slowly coming undone beneath her hat. Pausing in the middle of the dance, she held a hand up to her head.

Ludo looked at her worriedly, "All you all right?" he asked.

Minerva looked up, startled, "What? Oh, yes. It's just my bun…"

"Oh, that thing," he waved a hand, immediately back to his usual care-free self, "It's about time it came out. It's so straight-edge, you know."

Minerva looked at him, thinking back again to Snape's words, "I suppose I could let it down, just this once." She smiled slightly and reached a hand to take off her hat and undo the pins holding her hair now loosely together. In one fluid movement, her hair fell, forming a sleek, black curtain about her face.

Peering up, through the veil, she smiled tentatively. "So?" she said, uncertain about the rash decision

"My dear, you look lovely as ever," Ludo replied, smiling down at her. Returning the gesture, they turned and began to resume the dance.

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_A/N 2: As super short as it was, I didn't want to mesh it in with the next chapter... It had to grow up on it's own. Tell me how you liked it!_


	3. How to Be Bullied Into a Dance

_A/N: Having danced with Ludo in the book, I thought I had to add it in here too. Well here's our next installment: Bon Apetite!_

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"So, you loosened up, eh?" Severus Snape, whispered, leaning over to her as she took another sip of eggnog.

Minerva turned to him, sparing one glare for him before replying, "Just so you know, I happen to be enjoying myself for once at a feast, so I would very much appreciate it if you did not ruin it with your snide and sarcastic comments."

"Very well, if you won't talk to me, then at least do me the favor of a dance." Severus pushed back his chair, and stood, offering his hand. The gesture was clear. Plenty of eyes were now on them.

Biting her cheek lightly, Minerva looked around. Pomona Sprout was looking their way. Catching her eye, she winked at Minerva and gave a little nod.

Sighing, she finally gave a reply, "Very well, but only one dance. Then, you will leave me alone."

"As you wish," Severus Snape said with a glint in his eye as he took her hand and led her around the table.

The band cued a song and began to play. Minerva forced herself not to groan aloud; it was a slow-dance. What exactly did people think?

Severus stopped walking and spun Minerva around to face him. He kept hold of her and brought his other up to rest around her waist.

Minerva's back tingled as Severus rested his hand there. As they began to dance, she focused her mind on keeping a safe distance between herself and Severus. As the song continued, however, she felt the hand on her waist tighten, pulling her closer to him.

She looked up at him in surprise, about to scold when he caught her eye, "My dear, there is entirely too much space in between us." All Minerva could do, as she stared into those onyx eyes was nod dumbly

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_A/N 2: :) Love that line! Sad part being I don't remember writing it but hey, we can't all have a memory! Well, I hope you liked that. In fact, speaking of which there's a button down in the middle of the screen right there. Yep, the green one. It says review. Yeah, that's the one. Go on, clickety click click away!_

_ I'm still working on the next one as with the next few After Thoughts chapters which need polishing. _


	4. How to Teach a Dance

_A/N: So, I thought since it is New Year's day, I post a fun chapter of frivolous dancing. (I'm sure Minerva would disapprove immensely) I was actually worried about this story but my muse kicked it into four wheel drive and I'm working on the next chapter already. :) Have fun kiddies!_

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As they swirled around, Minerva could feel the eggnog getting to her head. She was so dizzy. Without thinking much of it, she leaned her head down on the soft, warm shoulder of Severus Snape.

"Have you changed your opinion of me then?" Severus asked, feeling her heavy head upon him.

She gasped and shot up, jumping away from him. She really had to get out of there before something unfortunate happened…

"I'm sorry; I seem to be feeling a bit… peaky." She managed to say, her face growing red with embarrassment. "I should really go and lie down…"

"Ah, but the song isn't over yet," he purred, taking her by the wrist and slipping his arm, like a snake around her waist , causing her eyes to flutter shut briefly.

* * *

"I think they look rather well, don't you Professor Sprout?" Dumbledore commented merrily as he watched the two teachers dancing.

"Yes, I'm shocked to say they do," she replied, "He certainly does seem keen on that dance."

"Ahh, love; one of life's greatest magic." Dumbledore smiled to himself.

Professor Sprout smiled in return, "To think that our Professor Snape would hold a personal interest in Minerva. I must admit that when he first asked her to dance, I was rather worried. I thought it must be a trick but they do seem awfully happy out there."

"That they do, Pomona that they do."  
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As song closed to a finish, couples began to break apart, applauding the band raucously.

"Well, I do believe that was one song," Minerva stated, backing away from the oddly intimidating man in front of her.

"Are you sure I can't interest you in another?" Severus shot back as he inched closer.

"I'm uh…" Across the room she could see Filius Flitwick struggling through a crowd of much taller people towards her. Much as she enjoyed their talks, she couldn't stand the awkwardness dancing with him. "Sure, I'd love to dance another one." Wasteing no time, she grabbed Severus' hand and dragged him to the middle of a student-crowded dance floor.

This time, the song was an upbeat number. The students jumped up and down rather recklessly. Her first instinct was to scoff at the unprofessional behavior and high-tail it out of there. Unfortunately, her brilliant escape plan was foiled as Severus delivered one irresistible smile and proceeded to lead her in what seemed to resemble the famous muggle dance called the Twist.

"Where on earth did you learn this?" She shouted at him as he taught her the simple moves.

"It's a rather long albeit interesting story," He shouted back, the noise of the surrounding students making it near impossible to hear her.

"I'll bet," she muttered to herself.

Then, looking up from her newly trained dancing feet, she burst out into a fit of giggles. Sure enough, there he was, twisting away. Who knew Severus Snape could ever look so cute! He raised an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic bought of laughter and grabbed her hands, forcing her to participate in the dance.  
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_A/N 2: Hope you liked it! I know the chances of Severus Snape knowing the Twist is slim to none but I thought 'What the heck, it's New Years Eve!' (Day now actually, my my look at the time!) _

_Well I hope you all had/have a very happy New Years!_


	5. How to Be Surprised

_A/N: I simply couldn't resist. There's really no rational excuse for it other than that. Oh well, I got a laugh out of it! Pardon the OOCness and Enjoy!  
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Ron's eye twitched. What. The. Hell.

He nudged Harry, who in turn gasped and nearly fell out of his chair.

"Is he… dancing?" Harry asked, just to make sure his eyes hadn't gone out and he was stuck in one of his cousin's alternate reality video games.

That was around the time when Hermione sauntered by, followed by a grimacing – as usual- Viktor Krum.

"What are the two of you gawking at this time?" she asked. The two boys were gaping, open mouthed, in the direction of the dance floor. She followed their line of sight to see-

"Oh my," Hermione said, covering her mouth with her hand. "Is he doing the _twist_?"

"Yup," Harry said, a slow grin spreading across his face.

"The what?" Ron asked, tearing his eyes from the obscene scene and looking at Hermione questioningly.

"The Twist. It's a muggle dance move that was pretty popular a few years ago…" She replied, still watching him perform what looked like some deranged chicken mating ritual to Ron.

"That sounds painful." Ron said and scrunched up his face in disgust.

"What? Oh here, I'll show you. Harry, come here."

Harry jumped; having been so focused on his teacher's outrageous dancing, "What? Why me?"

"Because you actually know how to do the dance." She hissed. Hermione made a good point and Harry, reluctant as he was, stood to join her.

"Okay, wait for it… One, Two, Three and GO!" They swung their arms around in a manner almost identical to their Professor's.

Ron still thought it looked odd and had to hold himself back from cracking up on the spot. He did have to admit one thing though, Hermione sure could dance.

Once they'd felt they'd educated Ron enough (meaning Harry had succeeded in convincing Hermione to sit down,) they turned back to their teacher and his mysterious partner.

"I wonder who that could be," Ron wondered aloud, pointing to the woman.

The woman in question was tall and slender with cascades of jet black hair falling down to her waist. They could see that she was smiling but never seemed to get a close enough look to name her.

Eventually, the song had to end and the couple drew apart. All three students craned their necks to catch sight of the strange beauty he'd had with him.

There was a collective gasp as the dark-haired woman revealed herself to be:

"Professor McGonagall?!?!"

_A/N 2: All I can say is HA! and I don't actually know how to twist but I do know you swing your arms some so bear with my naivety for a moment there. _

_Reviews people! [you know you want to push the button]_


	6. How to Avoid Students

_A/N: One word: short. I had to stop it here though because it doesn't make sense if you continue it and I felt bad for taking so long (I blame my teachers._

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"Professor McGonagall?!?"

Minerva looked up; still smiling from the surprisingly funny joke Severus had just told her. When she spotted the three students staring at her, identical looks of shock on all of their faces.

She tugged on Severus' sleeve and hurriedly whispered into his ear, "I think I might need a breath of fresh air. Fancy a walk?"

Severus' mouth all but fell open in surprise. Less than twenty minutes ago, she hated his guts and had made her opinions of him all too clear. Now, after a bit of frivolous dancing that he knew she'd agreed to against her better judgment, she was inviting him out for a _walk_?? The implications he thought were there terrified him slightly. His mind reeled at all the horrible outcomes of accepting her proposal.

Unfortunately, his reverie was interrupted as Minerva took hold of his arm and lead him out into the garden.

_A/N 2: Again, sorry for the shortness, hope you liked it anyway... I'll try and upload more tomorrow but homeowrk comes first._


	7. How to Hide Your Attraction

_A/N: Hey Guys... I figured I'd update this one tonight. This one isn't quite as frivolous as you might be used to... amybewell I don't know I'll let you decide... Bon lire mon petit amis!_

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Minerva inhaled deeply. She loved the outdoors in the evening. Tonight especially what with the fragrant flowers planted here and there. She reveled in the cool feeling on the night's breeze upon her face. The eggnog had succeeded in giving her a pleasant buzz in her head and it was this very buzz that made her spin around, watching her own skirts twirl with her movement. She delighted in the frivolousness of the act, soaking in the deliciously confused look upon Severus' face.

She stopped spinning.

Did she just call Severus delicious? _Severus Snape?_ The Severus who taunted her every possible moment? The Severus who, if fortune took a turn for the worst, never helped her out but stood by instead to watch her drown helplessly? Though now that she peered over to him and took in his slightly arrogant posture, his head tilted ever-so-slightly, his eyes, so dark they look like deep black pools of oil. She supposed he wasn't _unattractive, _but she'd never considered him to be the opposite either. He had always just been there: a mysterious flower upon the wall; watchful, waiting, wary. Intimidation came easily from him and it was easy to overlook his physical appearance to criticize his often sour personality.

Severus coughed politely. Minerva lowered her eyes hastily. She'd been staring at him! Worse yet, he'd noticed. He probably thought she was going funny from the crowded room they'd previously occupied. Oh well… At least she hadn't tried anything funny… yet.

* * *

Severus was nervous. He didn't like how she was looking at him. It was a strange look: inquisitive, testing, and –the most frighteningly of all- attracted. She was… sizing him up, looking at all his... erm… attributes of… uh… physicality.

…

Why the hell would she do a thing like that?

He coughed loudly. Please god make her stop! How humiliating would it be if he were to find… enjoyment in her inspection? He would NEVER live it down!

Now that he did look at her however, he couldn't exactly say she wasn't attractive. She had a slender build. Thin but tough. Her wiry strength might've seemed intimidating and too controlling for some but to him, he simply saw the cunning power of her physique. He already knew and admired her wit- though to be truthful, he'd never dare admit it to her- and once, after a long night of teaching, spotted her with that gorgeous raven hair loose, as it was tonight. Yes, she was appealing mentally and physically but what of it? She despised him. Only the influence of the spirits in her drink had pressured her into even agreeing to dance with him in the first place. All the words that came from her were really coming from that blasted eggnog. Without it, he'd still be having a regular, controlled…boring night. His mind reeled. It wasn't until he heard the rusting behind him that he was brought of his trance and thrown back into the real world.

Someone behind him cleared their throat loudly. Snape turned to meet them slowly and grimaced.

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_A/N 2: Anyways... that was that... It's not long but none of them really are. Hope you liked it, but hey! Don't leave me hoping! Reply and tell me what you think yourself!_


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